What Could Have Been But Needn't Be
by chille-tiid
Summary: Amy is devastated, and she's prepared to give up everything for his happiness. Amy/Rory oneshot


**Author's note: I started this a really long time ago but never finished. Takes place who knows when but let's pretend they never broke up, okay? I borrowed ideas (and maybe lines, I didn't check) from some episodes or whatnot. Italics for flashback**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who or any of its characters **

_"__I'm sorry."_ The words seemed to echo off the walls though it was only in her head. The halls seemed endless, the lights too bright. People seemed to stare as if they knew that she was wrong. And yes, _she_ was wrong and now it was official. She wandered blindly without her conscience, though if she concentrated she could hear it screaming in the farthest corners of her mind.

"Amy!" a voice broke into the void she had put herself in. Standing in front of her was the very thing her conscience had been screaming about: Rory, a slightly crooked grin on his face and his eyes glittering from joy. Amy forced a smile to prevent the worrying.

"What're you doing here?" he asked, nothing but love in his voice. She blanked, and she knew it was showing in her eyes. Rory's smile began to fade.

"Prescription," she finally mumbled. Looking down, she patted her purse for emphasis. Rory's face scrunched in concern.

"Hey," he said cupping her face in his hand, "Is something the matter?" She closed her eyes and leaned into his hand. He stroked her cheek with his thumb.

"Headache," she answered. His face softened and he leaned in to press his lips to her forehead.

"Go on home then, get some rest." Amy smiled slightly. He kissed her again. "I love you." Rory walked off down the hallway, unknowingly leaving his wife close to tears. Not wanting anybody see her cry, Amy rushed out of the hospital as fast as she could. How could he love her? How could he care about her at all? Rory wanted children more than anything in the world and she couldn't give them to him. She let the tears stream down her face as she drove home.

* * *

><p>Amy sat at the edge of her bed clutching her abdomen. The scene from the doctor's office replayed over and over again.<p>

_"__What do you mean I can't have children?" Amy asked. The doctor looked up from her charts sorrowfully. He had said it three times already, but Amy simply would not accept it._

_"__You're infertile. I'm sorry, Mrs. Pond, but there's nothing you can do." He had stood up then, prepared to leave. Amy remained seated, staring blankly at the wall. Tears were welling in her eyes but she dared not release them. The doctor leaned over her, placing what should have been a reassuring hand on her shoulder._

_"__I'm sorry, truly I am." And with that he turned and left, leaving Amy alone and feeling cold._

She had gone numb by now. The tears had come until there was nothing but emptiness. Without thinking she stood and left the bedroom. She walked across the hall and stood in front of a closed door. Tentatively, she placed her hand on the doorknob. She twisted it and pushed. She looked around at what would have been the nursery. The walls a soft yellow, a changing table, a rocking chair, empty chests and closets that should have been filled with tiny clothes, a crib. She walked over to the crib and put her hand on the smooth wood. It became difficult to swallow. Something creaked behind her. She turned and found herself staring at a little boy standing in the doorway.

"Mummy?" the boy said. Amy stared back in shock and sank to her knees. The little boy looked just like Rory had when he was a child, only with her fiery hair.

"What's wrong mummy?" He walked over to her. Tears slowly started falling from her eyes. She found herself reaching out for the boy. She placed her hand on his cheek and, oh, he was so warm, his skin so soft.

"I love you–" The boy vanished, dissolving into thin air. Rory's voice reached her ears as he climbed the stairs.

"Amy?" he called before coming to stand in the doorway of the nursery. He found Amy on her knees, hand still extended as if cupping someone's face. She looked absolutely bewildered. Seeing the tears on her face worried him and he rushed to her side. Her eyes hadn't moved from the spot where the boy had been.

"Amy, what's the matter?" Rory asked worriedly. He reached out for her hand. He took it and she gripped it tightly, dropping their hands into her lap. At last she turned her head to look at him.

"Amy?" he questioned again.

She couldn't do it. She couldn't sit here and tell him that she couldn't have children. She didn't have it in her to break his heart.

But he deserved to be told, and he deserved to have a chance to be with someone who could give him what he wanted. Amy looked into eyes and forced herself to tell him.

"I'm so sorry, Rory," she said through her tears. Rory's face was a mixture of confusion and concern. He said nothing, waiting for her to explain. Her eyes went to the ceiling and she swallowed with difficulty.

"I can't give you what you want, Rory. And you deserve to be happy. God knows you more than anyone deserves to be happy but you won't get it from me." It all came out in one giant rush and she started sobbing into her hands.

"Woah, slow down," he crooned, putting his arms around her. "What are you talking about?" He was even more worried now. Amy huffed an angry sigh through her sobs and stared at his face.

"Children, Rory," she said with exasperation. Rory's brows came together, still not quite understanding. Amy willed herself to calm down.

"I can't give you children," she whispered, tears still falling but her breathing less erratic. Rory's mouth parted slightly and he let out a long, silent sigh. His eyes softened. He brought his hand up to her cheek and wiped away the tears with his thumb.

"Oh, Amy," he breathed. "Why didn't you say anything sooner?" His voice was quiet and soothing, not a trace of anger or disappointment. Amy was thankful for that.

"I only just found out today, and I was scared." Her gaze flitted all over his face.

"Why?"

"Because ever since we were little you've wanted kids. And I can't give them to you. But you deserve to be happy." She took a deep breath, preparing herself for the hardest words she'd ever have to say. "I'm willing to give you up for that." Rory looked as if someone had told him that one of his friends had died.

"Amy, you complete my life. I'd sooner give up air than live without you," he said sternly. He cupped her face with both of his hands and kissed her soundly on the mouth. Amy looked slightly stunned as he pulled away.

"I didn't marry you so I could have kids. I married you because I love you, and I'd die without you," he said. Amy was disappointed in herself for ever thinking he'd leave her, or for telling him to. She threw her arms around his neck and squeezed him tightly. Rory reciprocated. They sat in a silent embrace for several minutes.

"We'll make this work, I promise," Rory said into the crook of her neck. Amy pulled back and kissed him.

"Besides, don't think you can get rid of me so easily," he said as they broke apart. Amy couldn't help but smile. They had each other, and that's all that mattered.

**Thanks for reading. Sorry for the corny last line, but couldn't think of what else to write. Anyways, reviews are always appreciated so please do if you feel so compelled.**

**Thanks again!**


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